Aphorisms:
*****
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
In fact, just leave me the heck alone.
*****
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's
newspaper, that's the time to do it.
*****
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
*****
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
*****
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
*****
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
*****
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple ofcar
payments.
*****
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
*****
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
worth it.
*****
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
*****
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
*****
Don't squat with your spurs on.
*****
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
*****
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back
in your pocket.
*****
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
*****
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it
holds the universe together.
*****
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
*****
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
*****
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
*****
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
*****
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
*****
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
*****
Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
*****
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
*****
*****
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
In fact, just leave me the heck alone.
*****
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's
newspaper, that's the time to do it.
*****
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
*****
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
*****
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
*****
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
*****
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple ofcar
payments.
*****
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
*****
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
worth it.
*****
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
*****
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
*****
Don't squat with your spurs on.
*****
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
*****
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back
in your pocket.
*****
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
*****
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it
holds the universe together.
*****
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
*****
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
*****
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
*****
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
*****
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
*****
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
*****
Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
*****
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
*****
Related:
- A Cowboy's Guide to Life:
** Don't squat with your spurs on.
** Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals.... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
< -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?... - Cowpoke Wisdom
** Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
** Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.... - One Liners
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.... - A Cynics Guide To Life
** The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky
tire.
** I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.... - Words of Wisdom:
** The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
** A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.... - Words of Wisdom...
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.... - DON'T SQUAT WITH YOUR SPURS ON: A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE
-Don't never interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
-If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'....
