Related:

• In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. [sound effec
  Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex] But this method doesn't work with a telephone call....
• Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate.
  Ask if they need paper....
• Italian accordion music and the sound of SCUBA in background.
  ) If you see a big eel, and his teeth are like steel, That's a Moray....
• estaurants --- I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time".
  So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance....
• A priest and nun are playing golf. They come to the first hole and the nun goes first.
  She swings and the ball goes beautifully. It was a hole in one....
• Ma and Pa always made a nice ritual out of dinner - Ma brought out her freshly baked loaves of home-made bread, and Pa would carefully carve them into regular, even slices.
  Every night, the family would sit around the table nodding with approval as Pa displayed his skill with the knife, barely leaving a crumb as he divided up the loaves....
• There were 3 guys, an Australian, a German and an Englishman.
  All guys were discussing their cars etc. The German says "I have a jaguar, and i call it 'pussy' cause it pers like a cat....
• Unknown An avid golfer and his wife are playing the course.
  The husband has a great round going until he gets to the par 4, 14th hole where he slices badly to the right and ends up behind a barn....
• A golfer and his wife are playing and he slices his tee shot over behind a shed.
  After examining the situation, he concludes that if they open both the front and rear doors of the shed, he could play his second shot through the shed....