Related:

• If I were you, who'd be me?
• I called up the local auto club this morning to ask for a map of Colorado.
  The receptionist who answered the phone asked me to spell my last name, and then my first name....
• While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient's shins were covered with dark, savage bruises.
  "Tell me," said the doctor, "Do you play hockey or soccer?...
• Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.
  Tell me your address and I will tell you where you live....
• An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the same lecture night after night.
  He confided this state of mind to his chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination....
• I think you have me confused with someone who gives a shit!
• Since a lot of people have been passing out questionares, I thought I'd it one of my own.
  1) Are you a liar? A) Yes B) No C) None of the above 2) Do you fill out questionnares correctly?...
• There was a girl from Dung-D Who got raped by an ape in a tree.
  The results were most horrid, all ass and no forehead, 3 balls an a purple gautee......