Related:

• Feeling Old Today? Each year, the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year's incoming freshmen.
  Here's this year's list: 1. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980....
• From The Wit of Steven Wright: ** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
  The mime next door went nuts. ** If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?...
• Always know where your towel is.
• Why? How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
  Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?...
• Who always goes to bed with shoes on? A horse.
• Egotist: One who's always me-deep in conversation.
• Things that annoy me: -The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no genitals.
  -When something is "new and improved", which is it?...
• DON'T GET SMART WITH ME: Three guys are having a relaxing day of fishing.
  Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid -- who begs to be set free, in return for granting each of them a wish....
• Three Guys Fishing There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing.
  Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish....