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• Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? A: K9P
• Things you won't see on Hallmark cards: OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am INSIDE
  hat you're not here to ruin it for me. OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love....
• Why do African-American men like pussy so much? Because the outside looks like watermelon and the inside smells like catfish.
• Seen on a birthday card: Outside: Forget about the past, You can't change it.
  Forget about the future, You can't predict it....
• Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking to each other with sign language.
  Mute #1 (SIGN)"What would you like to do?" Mute #2 (SIGN)"I don't know, what about you?...
• A Christmas Story The three wise men were riding their camels through the desert to Bethlehem.
  Finally they arrived at the manger containing Joseph, Mary, and their newborn son....
• What's grey & comes in quarts? Elephants What do elephants use for condoms?
  Blimps What did the elephant say to the naked man?...
• A priest decides to pay a visit to a nearby convent.
  The convent is in a run-down neighborhood, and as the priest walks down the street several prostitutes approach and proposition him....
• 182 There was a young fellow named Kimble Whose prick was exceedingly nimble, But fragile and slender, And dainty and tender, So he kept it encased in a thimble.