Things you won't see on Hallmark cards:
OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
INSIDE: that you're not here to ruin it for me.
OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.
OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.
INSIDE: I never believed in Hell 'till I met you.
OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help
INSIDE: What the heck was I thinking?
OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.
OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family.
INSIDE: Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm taking the
kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!
OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you,
INSIDE: it's almost like you're here.
OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend...
INSIDE: buy a dog.
OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...