Related:

• I fought the lawn and the lawn won...
• I fought the (fjords!) and the (fjords!) won.
• HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY ** At lunchtime, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
  See if they slow down. ** Page yourself over the intercom....
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....
• Hi this is <name>. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message and then wait by the phone until I call you back....
• Call me back so I can hang up on you!
• I Call My Horse Flattery Because He Gets Me Nowhere.
• OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.