Related:

• Where am I . . . and why am I in this handbasket?
• Where am I? And why am I in this handbasket??
• WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "I'm going fishing.
  Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety....
• Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere.
  One of the three men says, "I've got an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far....
• Men, Translated "I'm going fishing." Really means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
  "It's a guy thing." Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical....
• Because I'm A Man... ** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
  ** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at....
• One Liners Worth Remembering Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Eagles may soa
  but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol I intend to live forever - so far, so good I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?...
• A man goes to the psychiatrist a nervous wreck. The shrink tells him to sit down and explain his problem.
  He says, "Well, doc, I keep having this dream where I am at this party full of people and I look across the room and there is a beautiful blonde woman and she walks over and our hands touch and instantly we are alone in a room, naked....
• Federal Aviation Agency, Washington 25, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....