Related:

• I'm a licensed Smurf stomper!
• Licensed remote control operator.
• Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
• Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now.
  ..wait, hold on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now......
• Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
  Little Johnny: I is... Teacher: No, Little Johnny....
• I think, therefore I am (or am I?).
• I am not a molecule, I am a free radical!
• I am schizophrenic, and so am I.