Related:

• We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
• We now return you to your regularly scheduled boredom
• We now return you to your regular programming...
• And now we return you to your (ir)regular conference.
• Cremation Place: You Bang 'Em, We Flame 'Em!
• Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole. Right now, all our assholes are busy.
  After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an asshole return your call as soon as possible....
• The man at the next desk says he can't attend a party at our house next Friday night because of a previously scheduled memorial service for his lawn.