Related:

• What's the definition of bad acne? -- Waking up in the park with a blind man reading your face.
• Man A: So how was your honeymoon? Man B: Very good until the morning after waking up, I forgot and said to my wife "You are wonderful, here is $
  100". Man A: It is not that bad, she might not know that you thought her as a hooker....
• 100 reasons it's great to be a guy: 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks....
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man....
• Q: What is COYOTE UGLY? A: When you wake up with your arms around someone sooooooooo ugly, that you chew your arm off, rather than risk waking her up.
• The foreman at the sawmill wasn't eager to hire the blind man because of the obvious risks involved, but the guy begged for a chance.
  You'll see," he said. "Just put me downstream of the saw and and I'll smell the type and length of the lumber and stack it accordingly....
• Your Morning Coffee... A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee.
  He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee....
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when... ================================================== You wake up face down on the pavement.
  You put your bra on backwards and it fits better....