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• How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!
• The message I currently have on my recorder is the output from my Amiga's speech sythesizer.
  It's set up as a dialog between two distict, but recognizably artificial voices....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if it is aimed well.
  An apple every eight hours keeps three doctors away....
• Taglines: WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY, HOW What are you doing?
  !? The message is over,GO AWAY! What can you do for me?...
• How To Install Software: 1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software.
  It should look something like this: SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS 2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER 628....
• Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are horny and will screw you next.
  What is the difference between Bike and a women?...
• Did Ya' Ever Just Wonder... Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
  Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?...