Related:

• These political conventions make us realize what a lucky country this is.
  For one thing, we never had to choose between Barry Goldwater and George McGovern in the same race....
• The Letter D Pulls Out LETTER D PULLS SPONSORSHIP FROM SESAME STREET Noted Consonant Alienated By Controversial New Gay Muppet NEW YORK--A spokesperson for the letter D announced Monday that the consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from Sesame Street following a Children's Television Workshop announcement that a homosexual muppet will soon join the show's cast.
  "The letter D is proud to have brought you many wonderful Sesame Street episodes throughout the program's 28-year history," said Patricia Willis, public-relations director for D....
• PAINT IT LIKE A COW The Fair. I hadn’t been to one of these
  “regional events, held annually, consisting of farm and home product displays, and various competitions and entertainments,” since childhood....
• ALIEN ZOMBIE & THE CONGO LIZARDS You’re in luck. As my luck would have it, I made my bones in a musical family.
  Grandpop slapped ivories at the Congo, and Daddy-O moonlit his rocket ‘88 in the lizard lounges....
• Circus Lingo Circus Lingo from Big Top Productions (c)1995 from
  http://www.bigtop.com/kids/lingo.html There is a particular jargon that belongs exclusively to the world of the circus....
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• LIFE IN THE SLAW LANE by Kip Adotta It was Cucumber the Fi
  Summer was over. I had just spinached a long day and I was busheled....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
  None--New Haven looks better in the dark....