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• One speaker at this summer's Democratic national convention will be Jimmy Carter.
  Apparently no one fears a spontaneous movement to draft him....
• We were surprised that the Democratic convention's start wasn't delayed for Mondale veep interviews with George Brett, Gary Carter, Dale Murphy, Dwight Gooden and Fernando Valenzuela.
• The time to be suspicious of Jesse Jackson's Cuban trip is when the freed American prisoners show up at the Democratic convention as delegates.
• This was the 39th Democratic convention. Which just proves that it used to be possible to get nominated without Walter Cronkite there to watch.
• Anothe reason the last day of the Democratic convention was an historic day is that TV reporters set a world record for saying it was an historic day.
• Talk, unlike the Democratic platform, is cheap," Bob Dole told the convention.
  Obviously he hasn't seen OUR phone bill....
• POLITICAL SPEECH OF A LADY DELEGATE TO A NATIONAL POLITICAL CONVENTION Dear Lady Delegate
  We must have what the men have. It may not be very long, But we mean to have it....
• The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is quite simple.
  Each of the seven characters on the island represents each of the seven deadly sins....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....