Related:

• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• Jesse Jackson says the main reason for holding the convention is to adopt a platform.
  Then why didn't he leave when that was done?...
• Relatives who have survived me. -Bob Dole
• We're not a per/+fect party," says Bob Dole. How can he expect the president to win with that kind of damaging insider revelation?
• From Our Finest Minds -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SMOKING KILLS.
  AND IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE....
• US President Bill Clinton plans to reduce the budget deficit by an appeal to sacrifice.
  The problem, however, is that every time he gets near a virgin....
• looking Forward There was once a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s.
  For the sake of this story, we'll call him Jack....
• If you think talk is cheap, talk to a lawyer.
• The Democratic platform runs 35,000 words. Divided by the number of people who'll ever read it all, that's about 1,000 words each.