Related:

• Americans are such optimists. To clear away national problems they elect political parties that can't even clear their own convention aisles.
• The Republican party has never been closer together," says George Bush.
  He's right, judging by the look of the aisles....
• Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A. At the bottom of the document.
• Democrats now have to write a national party platform that will do two thing
  Be hard hitting and precise and be circumspect and general....
• The question," George McGovern told delegates, "is where will America be four years from now?
  Personally, we hope it's still somewhere between Mexico and Canada....
• Fifty million Americans said no to Walter Mondale four years ago," Senator Baker told the GOP convention.
  That's just political hype. It was only 49,618,685....
• The GOP platform says the U.S. should think about returning to the gold standard.
  Why not go all the way and return to the bead and trinket standard?...
• One reason lots of Republicans won't be running on the GOP platform is that in a few days most won't even remember where they put their copy.
• Where there's a witch, there's a way