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• There was this guy who won the lottery. He immediately calls his wife and says to her, "Honey, I won the lottery, pack your bags.
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• Soviet lotto jackpot features toilet paper" (various sources) MOSCOW - A lottery in the Ukranian city of Stakhanov didn't top the $
  115 million jackpot offered last week in Pennsylvania, but the winners seemed happy with their prize...
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man....
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• Here are my categories, with examples (his): ENGLISH
  I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out....
• A Little Planning Goes a Long Way Did you hear about the guy on the beach who found a bottle?
  He rubbed it and, sure enough, out popped a Genie....
• Two inhabitants of hell were taking a walk when a frigid breeze blew by.
  Then a storm dumped several inches of snow. The men looked around in amaze- ment....
• Chicago Cubs World Series Championships.
• A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things!
  I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?...