Related:

• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....
• A: Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
  B: After seeing you the answer is no, and now I don't intend to be around here much longer....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• Since a lot of people have been passing out questionares, I thought I'd it one of my own.
  1) Are you a liar? A) Yes B) No C) None of the above 2) Do you fill out questionnares correctly?...
• ENTER DATA, ENAMORATA Back into the fray. Thanks to all who sent along best wishes at the outset of my vacation.
  Now, as you rejoin the ranks and the column moves out into another fiscal front, let’s get those shoulders back, chests out, stomachs in and tongues in cheek....
• Background: Something spacy, like "A Saucerful Of Secrets" by Pink Floyd.
  ) (Try to sound like Carl Sagan.) Who are you? Where do you come from?...
• My favorite answer to 'Were you sleeping?' is "That's okay, I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.
• Man and wife make one fool. A fate worse than death
  o be married alive. Don't marry for money. You can always borrow it cheaper....