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• I married a nun; nun in the morning; nun at night...
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• Young Kids With Real Insight 1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
  "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
• LIFE IN THE SLAW LANE by Kip Adotta It was Cucumber the Fi
  Summer was over. I had just spinached a long day and I was busheled....
• A whale couple was strolling along the seaside (whales are monogamous, you know), when the male whale spotted another whale being harrassed by a whaling ship.
  We'll call the male whale Dick for conveinience, and his female compaion Jane....
• Not so famous quotes Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
  --Robin Williams Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself....
• Here are my categories, with examples (his): ENGLISH
  I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...