Related:

• The Polack came home from his job at the pickle factory and told his wife, "I have this terrible urge to stick my thing in the pickle slicer.
  I know it's crazy, but I can't help it." His wife was shocked, "You mustn't even think of that!...
• Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
  He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer....
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man....
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• I HAD A BAD DAY It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
  The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died....
• A Bit of Halloween Caution! A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.
  She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone....
• A polish couple got married. On their wedding night they couldn't figure out how to have sex.
  So the woman said to her husband, "Dear, go to the doctor tomorrow and ask him how we can have sex....
• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....