Related:

• Did you hear about the aggie who moved his finger from his left nostril to his right and thought he had invented the transplant?
• This fellow was screwing his best friend's wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.
  "What the hell has happened to you?" the lady asked....
• Did you hear about the Pollack that thought his wife was trying to kill him?
  He found a bottle of polish remover in the medicine cabinet........
• THE OPTIMIST AND THE NON-OPTIMIST An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist (a non-optimist) sees only the worst.
  An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive....
• Did you hear about the guy who discovered his new wife thought the smoke detector in the apartment was the oven timer.
• DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE POLACK WHO: Spent four days in Sears looking for wheels for a miscarriage?
  Took his expectant wife to the grocery store because they had free delivery?...
• Did you hear about the Irishman who was tap dancing?
  He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink....
• THE CIVIL SERVANT'S DOG ----------------------- Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were.
  The first was an engineer who said his dog could draw....