After months of scrimping and bargain hunting to make ends meet, a woman
begged her tight-fisted husband to give her some shopping money. "Can't you
just give me an extra ten dollars so I can buy a roast?" she asked. Her
husband pulled a ten-dollar bill from his pocket and held it up to the
mirror. "See the money in the mirror? That's yours. And this," he said,
putting the ten-spot back in his pocket, "is mine." The next evening, he
went home to find the table filled with a Roman feast of glazed ham, stuffed
hens, fresh fruit, steaming veggies, baked alaska, etc, etc, etc. "Where
did you get the money for all this?" the husband barked. His wife took him
to the mirror. "See this body in the mirror? That's yours. And this one," she
said, pulling off her dress, "is the grocer's."
begged her tight-fisted husband to give her some shopping money. "Can't you
just give me an extra ten dollars so I can buy a roast?" she asked. Her
husband pulled a ten-dollar bill from his pocket and held it up to the
mirror. "See the money in the mirror? That's yours. And this," he said,
putting the ten-spot back in his pocket, "is mine." The next evening, he
went home to find the table filled with a Roman feast of glazed ham, stuffed
hens, fresh fruit, steaming veggies, baked alaska, etc, etc, etc. "Where
did you get the money for all this?" the husband barked. His wife took him
to the mirror. "See this body in the mirror? That's yours. And this one," she
said, pulling off her dress, "is the grocer's."
Related:
- The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history:
"Only the future is certain; the past is always changing"... - Here are my categories, with examples (his):
ENGLISH:
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street... - A woman is nearly caught with her lover when her husband comes home early.
To hide her lover, she puts him in the closet. While... - When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a
witch,
and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to... - A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.... - There was this young boy coming of age and his father wanted to show him
the facts of life.
So he gave him 20 bucks and sent him down to the local... - Some Short Blonde Jokes:
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning,
the wife (undoubtedly blonde also), picked up the phone... - so the husband finally let his nagging wife (redundancy?) go
deer hunting with him.
After setting her up in a blind and waiting in his... - She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite...
