During the last recession a banker was going to committ suicide by jumping
off a bridge. As he leaned on the guardrail, he heard a far away voice
saying, "Do-o-o-on't ju-u-u-ump!" He looked around, but saw no one, so he
climbed up on the edge of the bridge and prepared to dive. Again he heard
the voice "Do-o-o-on't ju-u-u-ump!" This time he looked down and saw,
hidden in the shadow of the underpass, an incredibly old, and scaggly
woman. "Why not?" he yelled. "I'm in ruin: My company's bankrupt, my wife
has left me, my daughter's a groupie ..." he rambled on for some thirty
minutes. "Sonny, you shouldn't be thinking about suicide," she yelled
back. "Whatever your problem, I can solve it for you. You see, I'm a witch.
All you have to do is eat me and I'll solve all your problems!" The thought
of eating the old hag was revolting, but the banker figured he had nothing
to lose, so he climbed down off the bridge and made his way down the offramp
and ran quickly to the witch. He threw her down, tore off her rags, and
proceeded to give her a thorough tongue lashing. After a few moments of
this, the old hag began to shake and quiver. The banker noticed that she was
convulsed with laughter. He said, "What are you laughing at?" She answered,
"Sonny, aren't you a bit old to be believing in witches?"
off a bridge. As he leaned on the guardrail, he heard a far away voice
saying, "Do-o-o-on't ju-u-u-ump!" He looked around, but saw no one, so he
climbed up on the edge of the bridge and prepared to dive. Again he heard
the voice "Do-o-o-on't ju-u-u-ump!" This time he looked down and saw,
hidden in the shadow of the underpass, an incredibly old, and scaggly
woman. "Why not?" he yelled. "I'm in ruin: My company's bankrupt, my wife
has left me, my daughter's a groupie ..." he rambled on for some thirty
minutes. "Sonny, you shouldn't be thinking about suicide," she yelled
back. "Whatever your problem, I can solve it for you. You see, I'm a witch.
All you have to do is eat me and I'll solve all your problems!" The thought
of eating the old hag was revolting, but the banker figured he had nothing
to lose, so he climbed down off the bridge and made his way down the offramp
and ran quickly to the witch. He threw her down, tore off her rags, and
proceeded to give her a thorough tongue lashing. After a few moments of
this, the old hag began to shake and quiver. The banker noticed that she was
convulsed with laughter. He said, "What are you laughing at?" She answered,
"Sonny, aren't you a bit old to be believing in witches?"
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