Once upon a time, an elephant was walking through the jungle.

Once upon a time, an elephant was walking through the jungle. Unfortunately,
he walked right into a pool of quicksand. He panicked, and started thrashing
all around and yelling for help. Well, as great luck would have it, a monkey
was nearby. The monkey heard all the commotion, so he came over. "Elephant!"
said the monkey, "Don't thrash about so; you'll float if you just stay still.
I'll go get help to get you out." The elephant thought, "Now what is a little
monkey going to do for me?" But he laid still and, sure enough, he stopped
sinking into the quicksand. After awhile, the monkey came back in a BMW. He
took a vine off a tree, tied it to the BMW's bumper, and gave the end to the
elephant. With that, he pulled the elephant out of the quicksand and saved
his life!

Some time later, the monkey was swinging through the tree when his grip on
the vine slipped, and he fell right into some quicksand. He too panicked,
and started yelling and thrashing. Just as you'd know it, the elephant was
walking nearby, and heard the commotion. "Monkey, monkey!" cried the ele-
phant, "Don't flail around. Lie still, and I'll find a way to save you."
The monkey laid still and stopped sinking into the quicksand. The elephant
noted that the quicksand pool wasn't very wide. "Monkey, the quicksand
isn't very wide. I'll just straddle it. You reach up and grab ahold of me,
and I'll pull you out!" The monkey did as he was told, and his life was
saved.

The moral of the story is this: If your dick's big enough, you don't
need a BMW!