The heaviest known element known to science was recently
discovered by corporate research physicists. The element,
tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and
thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 15
senior vice neutrons, 60 vice neutrons, 125 assistant neutrons, and
111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that
involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called
morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.
However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every
reaction it comes in contact with. According to discoverers, a
minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over
4 days to complete when it would normally occur in less than one
second.
Administratium has a normal half life of approximately 3
years at which time it does not actually decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which the assistant neutrons, vice
neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some
studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after
each reorganization.
Research at other laboratories indicate Administratium
occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at
certain points such as government agencies, large corporations,
and universities and can usually be found in the newest, best
appointed, and best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out Administratium is known to be toxic
at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any
productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts
are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled
to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not
promising.
Elementronics:
The heaviest element known to science is Managerium.
This element has no protons or electrons, but has a nucleus composed of 1
neutron, 2 vice-neutrons, 5 junior vice-neutrons, 25 assistant
vice-neutrons, and 125 junior assistant vice-neutrons all going round in
circles....
