Ladys And Gentlemen: I Stand Before And Sit Behind You To Tell You Of Something I Know Nothing About.

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Ladys and Gentlemen:
I stand before and sit behind you
To tell you of something I know nothing about.
Thier will be a meeting tommorrow morning, right after lunch
To decide what color to whitewash the church.
There will be plenty of seats, so sit on the floor.
There will be plenty of food, so bring some more.

Somewhat similar:

Ladels and Jellyspoons,
I come before you to stand behind you
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, the day after Friday,
There will be a Mothers Meeting for fathers only.
Entrance is free, you pay at the door,
There is plenty of seating, so you can sit on the floor.

You know you live in a small town when :
Even a 4 year old can tear the phone book.
You turn on your oven, & the street lights dim.
Everyone reads the newspaper to see if the reporter got it right.
.... the water tower is made by Dixie Cup
.... the "Welcome To" and "Thanks For Visiting" signs are mounted on the
same pole
.... everybodies phone number has only 1 digit
.... the only traffic light in town is at a cattle crossing
.... this years United Way drive netted a record $1.75 in contributions