You Know You Are Getting Old When: - You Go Upstairs To The Bathroom And Wonder Why Your In There When You Arrive - The Checkout Girl At The Supermarket Says "plastic Or Paper" And You Answer "check" - It Takes You All Night To Do What You Used To Do All Night - You Are Out With The Boys For A Drink And You Want To Get Home By 11pm To Watch The News - You Are At Party And You Don't Fancy Sleeping Over In A Sleeping Bag On The Nice Hard Floor - After Your Third Beer You Really Fancy A Cup Of Tea

You Know You Are Getting Old When: - You Go Upstairs To The Bathroom And Wonder Why Your In There When You Arrive - The Checkout Girl At The Supermarket Says "plastic Or Paper" And You Answer "check" - It Takes You All Night To Do What You Used To Do All Night - You Are Out With The Boys For A Drink And You Want To Get Home By 11pm To Watch The News - You Are At Party And You Don't Fancy Sleeping Over In A Sleeping Bag On The Nice Hard Floor - After Your Third Beer You Really Fancy A Cup Of Tea - You Dunk Your Biscuits In Your Tea Q

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The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes ----------------------------------- 12/15/92 Q
How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone....
YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
How to make us Women happy... What do you think ladies?
Is this about right? In the world of romance, one single rule applie...
What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
Proof By Intimidation ----- -- ------------ A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front....
You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
.... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....

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