Three Vampires Walked Into A Bar And Sat At A Corner Table.

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Three vampires walked into a bar and sat at a corner table. The barmaid
walked over and asked what they would like to drink. The first one
ordered a blood. The second one ordered the same. The third one said
that he was on a diet and ordered a plasma.
The barmaid yelled to the bartender, "Two bloods and a blood lite!"

What's the difference between a Canadian Hockey player and an Iraqi woman?
The Hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

What do a vaccuum cleaner and an Iraqi Tank have in common?
They both suck.

What's the difference between the two?
The vaccuum cleaner has only one dirt bag in it.

Ol' preacher was giving his sermon one Sunday and it was about the sins of
life. So during the service he started asking questions on what the flock
had been doing the last week. He asked how many had been a hein' and a
shein'. Some raised there hand. Then he asked how many had been a shein'
and a shein' and a few raised their hands. Then he asked how many had
been a hein' and a hein' and a few more raised there hand. Their sat ol
Tobe in the back and he never raised his hand. Bro' asked Tobe if he
hadn't done anything in the past week. He said, "Brother, yo didn't say
anything about a me n' and a me n'."

This gal from the deep south said, "Tobe, when yall' goin take me
Flordia." Tobe says, " I's not takin you Florida," and she says, "Yo did
too," and he says, I's did not." She says, "Yo promised to Tampa wit me
when I's turn sixteen."