A Vaseline salesman is driving through the country, when his car starts
leaking and loses all its oil. Not knowing what to do, he fills the
engine with Vaseline, thinking that it is similar to oil, and drives away.
It works fine until about half an hour later, when the engine gets real
warm, and the Vaseline melts, and runs out through the same hole as the
oil did. This time there is a farm nearby, so he decides to look for a
Meanwhile, inside the farmhouse, the farmer, his wife, and daughter
are having a fight about who's going to do the dishes. "I did them this
morning," complains the farmer. "Well I did them at lunch," says his wife.
"And I'm tired from doing all the farmwork," says the daughter. So the
farmer, in a stroke of brilliance, decides that they will settle it by all
taking off their clothes, lying on the floor, and declaring that the first
one to speak gets to do the dishes.
The Vaseline saleman gets to the front door, and rings the bell.
No one answers so he goes in and looks for a phone. He eventually stumbles
into the kitchen, and ignoring the odd sight, asks for a phone. No one
answers, so he goes and looks some more. Still no luck, so he goes back to
the kitchen. They still won't answer, so he decides to see what else he
can get away with. He has sex with the daughter several times, bemused by
her silence, then finally goes and looks for the phone again. A while
later, he comes back, looks at the wife, and says, "Why not?" After having
sex with the farmer's wife, he is getting tired and exasperated. He
thinks, maybe if they have some Vaseline, I can drive my car for another
half-hour. So he asks, "Do you have any Vaseline?" at which the farmer
jumps up and yells, "I'll do the dishes!"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...