Well, There Was This Guy Who'd Been Living A Really Great Life As An Art Dealer In New York City, Making Tons Of Money And Everything.

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Well, there was this guy who'd been living a really great life as an
art dealer in New York City, making tons of money and everything. He was
30 and fixed for life, a millionaire, when he went to the doctor and
found out that he had a very rare bone disease that was sure to kill him
before he reached 31. So he went around the country, visiting hospitals
and specialists, but no one was able to help him. The answer was always
the same: "it's incurable, extremely rare, no one has ever found
anything that has the slightest effect on the disease." And already the
guy was starting to disintegrate; you know, they had to amputate an arm,
it would be a foot next... he was real desperate. And then he heard from
a friend of a friend of a doctor that there was this guy, a kind of
warlock, in Australia no less, who had spent years developing a potion
that cured all bone disorders! The guy's name was Dr. Mersey. It all
seemed sorta dubious, but with one month left to live he wasn't going to
turn anything down. Besides, what the heck, he'd always wanted to visit

So, anyway, there he went the next day. When he arrived, it took him a
week to fly, be driven, and finally (with a great deal of difficulty)
hike to Mersey's place. He finally got there -- three weeks to live, and
his right foot had fallen off along the way -- and was rewarded with
the sight of a really huge tin shack with a kind of chimney/smokestack
thing on top, and evil-looking dense brown smoke pouring out of the top,
and surrounded by eucalyptus trees.

Dr. Mersey came out to greet the guy (he'd been notified by radio-telephone)
and told him about the treatment. "It's a potion brewed out of eucalyptus
and koala bears and boiled for two years before it's drunk. Luckily I have
some just ready. It tastes terrible, you'll vomit for days, and your hair
will fall out, but you will be cured." The guy wasn't too pleased at the
first part but he figured anything was better than dying.

So Mersey gave him a tour of the place, There was the hopper where the
koala bears were stuffed in (live!) and a vat where they were boiled for
years. Horrid lumps were floating around and the evil brown smoke was
emanating fiercely. Finally the stuff dripped out of a little pipe into
a rusty can. It was brown and oily and had hairs and pieces of koala
meat and bone floating around in it. The doctor says, "Here, drink
this." The poor guy asked the doctor, "Couldn't you filter out the...
stuff.. that's floating in it, first?"

And the doctor, shaking his head sadly, says, "The koala tea of Mersey is
not strained..."