A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her
blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's
so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when
we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that
mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and
he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when
we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a
boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at
Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"
==
%a
This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some
time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, the
physician called the fellow into his office and said, "Well, I'm not
exactly sure what is causing your headaches, but we've found a cure
for them: you'll have to be castrated."
The man, needless to say, was taken aback, and told his doctor that he
believed he would try to bear the pain.
But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the
poor fellow was driven back to the doctor. "All right, I guess I'll
have the operation," he said. When it was all over, the man was
understandably depressed, and his physician told him, "I recommend you
begin life anew. Start over from this point."
So the man decided to take the advice and went to a men's shop for a
new set of clothes. The proprietor said, "Starting with the suit, looks
like you take about a 38-regular". "That's right", exclaimed the man,
"How'd you know?"
"Well, when you've been in the business as long as I have, you get pretty
good at sizing a man up", replied the salesman. "Now, for a shirt, looks
like about a 15 long." "Right again," the man said.
The proprietor suggested, "And for undershorts, I'd say a size 36."
"There's your first mistake", the man said, "I've worn 34's for years."
"No, you're a size 36 if I've ever seen one", said the owner. The man
replied, "I ought to know what size undershorts I wear, and I'll take 34".
The owner replied, "Well all right, if you insist, but they're going to pinch
your balls and give you headaches!!"
*OR*
%b
A really handsome man had a high sqeuaky voice. He was surrounded by
girls except they ran off at the sound of his voice. So he went to the
doctor. The doctor said he could fix the problem by cutting off the
mans penis. The man agreed to the surgery, and sure enough hios vooice
went to normal and he was surrounded by women.
Later he decided to get a whole new wardrobe. The tailor took a look
at him and rattled of figures ending up with underwear size 36. The man
said no I wear size 30. The tailor said, "I've been doing this for years
trust me. If you wore size thirty you voice would be high and squeaky."
==
blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's
so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when
we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that
mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and
he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when
we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a
boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at
Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"
==
%a
This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some
time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, the
physician called the fellow into his office and said, "Well, I'm not
exactly sure what is causing your headaches, but we've found a cure
for them: you'll have to be castrated."
The man, needless to say, was taken aback, and told his doctor that he
believed he would try to bear the pain.
But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the
poor fellow was driven back to the doctor. "All right, I guess I'll
have the operation," he said. When it was all over, the man was
understandably depressed, and his physician told him, "I recommend you
begin life anew. Start over from this point."
So the man decided to take the advice and went to a men's shop for a
new set of clothes. The proprietor said, "Starting with the suit, looks
like you take about a 38-regular". "That's right", exclaimed the man,
"How'd you know?"
"Well, when you've been in the business as long as I have, you get pretty
good at sizing a man up", replied the salesman. "Now, for a shirt, looks
like about a 15 long." "Right again," the man said.
The proprietor suggested, "And for undershorts, I'd say a size 36."
"There's your first mistake", the man said, "I've worn 34's for years."
"No, you're a size 36 if I've ever seen one", said the owner. The man
replied, "I ought to know what size undershorts I wear, and I'll take 34".
The owner replied, "Well all right, if you insist, but they're going to pinch
your balls and give you headaches!!"
*OR*
%b
A really handsome man had a high sqeuaky voice. He was surrounded by
girls except they ran off at the sound of his voice. So he went to the
doctor. The doctor said he could fix the problem by cutting off the
mans penis. The man agreed to the surgery, and sure enough hios vooice
went to normal and he was surrounded by women.
Later he decided to get a whole new wardrobe. The tailor took a look
at him and rattled of figures ending up with underwear size 36. The man
said no I wear size 30. The tailor said, "I've been doing this for years
trust me. If you wore size thirty you voice would be high and squeaky."
==
Related:
- This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some
time,
and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam... - This guy, see, was walkin' down the street sportin' two -
not one, but two -- black eyes; a coupla real shiners... - A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H"... - A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H"... - A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and
tried striking up a conversation .
"Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw:
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can... - My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole
package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's...
