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• Q. What does a mathematician do when he's constipated?
  A. He works it out with a pencil. Joseph Costa, NOSC...
• Q. What does a mathematician do when he's constipated? A. He works it out with a pencil.
• Asked how his pet parrot died, the mathematician answered "Polynomial. Polygon.
• Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is extroverted?
  A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes instead of at his....
• A mathematician and a stock broker go to the races to bet on horses.
  The broker suggests a bet of $10,000. That's too much for the mathematician's taste...
• Q: What's purple and commutes? A: An abelian grape.
  Q: Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy"?...
• In the old days of the cold war, when it was very hard for Westerners to visit the Soviet Union, a British mathematician travels to Moscow to speak in the seminar of a famous Russian professor.
  He starts his talk writing a theorem on the board....
• Some famous mathematician was to give a keynote speech at a conference.
  Asked for an advance summary, he said he would present a proof of Fermat's Last Theorem -- but they should keep it under their hats....
• Proof By Intimidation ----- -- ------------ A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
  A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front....