"I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want,
but you must eat it with naked fat people." - Ed Bluestone "Have you ever
noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster
than you is a moron." - George Carlin "You have to stay in shape. My
grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97
today and we don't know where the hell she is." - Ellen DeGeneris "Don't
spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army
instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back
for seventy-five cents." - Billiam Coronel "I'm desperately trying to figure
out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." - Dave Edison "Did you ever notice
when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a
car he sticks his head out the window." - Steve Bluestone "I think men who
have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced
pain and bought jewelry." - Rita Rudner
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
