Related:

• Two neighbors were discussing gardening one afternoon.
  The lady from next door remarked, "My but you have such a nice blush on your tomatoes, how do you do it?...
• Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall] keep looking up [on the ceiling] Quick!
  Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!...
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• EEKING OUT A LIVING IN RADIOACTIVE SHOES Come now, don’t any of you baby boomers remember having your childhood feet x-rayed at the shoe store?
  It was right about the time we were being stuffed with megadoses of penicillin no matter what the wheezy etiology, and ducking for cover under one-armed elementary school desks in mock nuclear bomb attacks....
• VIKINGS HOME JOURNAL (Todays Journal for the modern viking) * Three fast and tasty village dog recipes for the working viking who doesn't have all day to cook.
  * War wound stitchery-Don't throw away those severed body parts....
• Don't look now but your fly's open!!
• Mad at your neighbors? Buy their kid a drum!
• Jeff says at a party, "Sorry...I guess I really put your foot in my mouth that time!
  One of Jeff's surviving neighbors just flew in from Milwaukee....
• This woman decides to buy a new cupboard that you have to assemble yourself.
  Back home she reads the instructions carefully and assembles the cupboard in the bedroom....