MANY REASONS WHY A BEER IS BETTER THAN A MAN
A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.
A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.
A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.
Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.
If a beer had a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.
A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
A beer doesn't sulk.
A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
A beer won't switch the TV channel.
A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.
A beer doesn't snore.
A beer can't interrupt.
A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburetor.
A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
A beer doesn't belch. Or fart.
A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.
A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.
A good beer is easy to find.
A beer can't pout.
A beer doesn't have a mother.
A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.
A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.
A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
A beer doesn't want children.
A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
A beer isn't ready until you're ready.
If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
Hangovers go away.
A beer tastes good.
Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
A beer's life does not revolve around the football.
A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
A beer never needs a shave.
You don't have to let a beer win.
A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.
Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you
have to sleep with a beer too.
A beer doesn't have morning breath.
A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.
A beer will never drink the last beer.
A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.
A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
A beer is never temperamental.
A beer will never complain about your cooking.
A cold beer is a good beer.
A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
A big, fat beer is nice to have.
A beer won't steal the covers.
You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.
What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery (sic) on a blonde?
"Space. The final frontier."
