News of the Weird
Lead Story
Paul LaSalle, twenty-six, was killed near Mt. Pleasant, N.Y.,
in March. He lost control of his car when he pulled alongside a driver
and began to berate him for having just cut LaSalle off.
Government in Action
Debra Gadsen, nineteen, was released early from her five year
sentence i
newborn child to die in a dormitory closet, wrapped in plastic bags)
because she was discovered to be pregnant again.
The U.S. Air Force announced that an MX missile accidentally
dropped seven inches in its silo in Wyoming last June. The cause was
faulty glue. Repairs will cost $4,780,000 -- or $683,000 per inch.
A February report from Finland's Health Ministry, concerned about
declining population and a high incidence of stress among workers
recommended that people should take "sex holidays" from work. The
proposal was immediately endorsed by a Lutheran church official in
Finland.
In February the Environmental Protection Agency inspector
general told a congressional committee that its toxic waste cleanup
program is so badly managed that the agency hired contractors as
telephone receptionists for $30 an hour.
Patrick Kennedy (son of Senator Edward Kennedy) spent $8,000 for
the 1,324 votes ($66 per vote) he received in last year's primary for the
part time Rhode Island legislature seat he eventually won.
San Francisco official accused two cities of intentionally
"dumping" mental patients in their city by buying them one-way plane
tickets there. The director of the city's mental health program said,
"San Francisco is identified as the city of the crazies. We do much
more than other cities and counties. "
Last fall during a public budget confrontation determining how
Franklin County (Ohio) libraries would receive funds, the director of
the Columbus Public Library slapped the director of the Bexly Public
Library, who retaliated with a punch.
Police Blotter
Larry Tubbs, twenty-nine, was sentenced to thirty days in jail in
Lawrence, Kan., for a November incident in which he bit a woman on the
leg and stomach during a church service.
In Prague, a 506 pound man identified as Zbynek M., aged
fifty-two, was sentenced to twelve years in prison for stealing $120,000
worth of food.
Salt Lake City police found a pair of severed legs, each wearing
a different colored sock, in a garbage can behind a grocery store.
Marlene T. Sipes, a Columbia S.C. lawyer, was suspended for a
year in March by the state supreme court on charges that she pocketed
$1,819 in 1986 from her daughter's Girl Scout troop cookie fund.
Los Angeles police Daryl Gates suspended officer Juan Gomez in
December for having broken wind in the faces of two arrestees in
September. Gomez blamed the problem on indigestion, but his supervisor
called Gomez "feloniously flatulent." One arrestee accused Gomez of
preceding one blast with the words, "Check this out."
Willie Carrol Williams, thirty-seven, was arrested in Sarasota,
Fla., for bank robbery in December. According to police, he had no
getaway car but hailed a taxicab outside the bank and paid the driver to
take him to local malls for a Christmas shopping spree. After police
trapped him an hour later, the taxi driver quoted Williams as saying,
"When you've got the money, you might as well spend it."
Maurice Suhre
{decvax,ucbvax}!trwrb!suhre
Lead Story
Paul LaSalle, twenty-six, was killed near Mt. Pleasant, N.Y.,
in March. He lost control of his car when he pulled alongside a driver
and began to berate him for having just cut LaSalle off.
Government in Action
Debra Gadsen, nineteen, was released early from her five year
sentence i
newborn child to die in a dormitory closet, wrapped in plastic bags)
because she was discovered to be pregnant again.
The U.S. Air Force announced that an MX missile accidentally
dropped seven inches in its silo in Wyoming last June. The cause was
faulty glue. Repairs will cost $4,780,000 -- or $683,000 per inch.
A February report from Finland's Health Ministry, concerned about
declining population and a high incidence of stress among workers
recommended that people should take "sex holidays" from work. The
proposal was immediately endorsed by a Lutheran church official in
Finland.
In February the Environmental Protection Agency inspector
general told a congressional committee that its toxic waste cleanup
program is so badly managed that the agency hired contractors as
telephone receptionists for $30 an hour.
Patrick Kennedy (son of Senator Edward Kennedy) spent $8,000 for
the 1,324 votes ($66 per vote) he received in last year's primary for the
part time Rhode Island legislature seat he eventually won.
San Francisco official accused two cities of intentionally
"dumping" mental patients in their city by buying them one-way plane
tickets there. The director of the city's mental health program said,
"San Francisco is identified as the city of the crazies. We do much
more than other cities and counties. "
Last fall during a public budget confrontation determining how
Franklin County (Ohio) libraries would receive funds, the director of
the Columbus Public Library slapped the director of the Bexly Public
Library, who retaliated with a punch.
Police Blotter
Larry Tubbs, twenty-nine, was sentenced to thirty days in jail in
Lawrence, Kan., for a November incident in which he bit a woman on the
leg and stomach during a church service.
In Prague, a 506 pound man identified as Zbynek M., aged
fifty-two, was sentenced to twelve years in prison for stealing $120,000
worth of food.
Salt Lake City police found a pair of severed legs, each wearing
a different colored sock, in a garbage can behind a grocery store.
Marlene T. Sipes, a Columbia S.C. lawyer, was suspended for a
year in March by the state supreme court on charges that she pocketed
$1,819 in 1986 from her daughter's Girl Scout troop cookie fund.
Los Angeles police Daryl Gates suspended officer Juan Gomez in
December for having broken wind in the faces of two arrestees in
September. Gomez blamed the problem on indigestion, but his supervisor
called Gomez "feloniously flatulent." One arrestee accused Gomez of
preceding one blast with the words, "Check this out."
Willie Carrol Williams, thirty-seven, was arrested in Sarasota,
Fla., for bank robbery in December. According to police, he had no
getaway car but hailed a taxicab outside the bank and paid the driver to
take him to local malls for a Christmas shopping spree. After police
trapped him an hour later, the taxi driver quoted Williams as saying,
"When you've got the money, you might as well spend it."
Maurice Suhre
{decvax,ucbvax}!trwrb!suhre
Related:
- W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
< -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?... - THE DARWIN AWARDS
Date: December,1997
The Darwin Award is made each year to the person
who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore
prevent the survival of their genes - hence
Darwin!
) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper.... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around.... - A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a
time without getting nervous.
His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course.... - On the front page of today's Wall Street Journal:
By 62% to 17%, Americans still trust President Reagan over Mr.
Gorbachev to reduce tensions between the countries.... - The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
"Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip.... - STUPID LAWS
- CANADA:
- Pauline M. Marshall offers a couple from her home town in Fort
Qu'Appelle Saskatchewan (Canada).
(since not all silly, outdated laws are from the US) 1.... - More Evidence That This World Is Full Of Complete Idiots
1.
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $... - IDIOTS *GOING* TO PRISON
A woman was reporting her car, which she had been attempting to sell,
as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it.
The policeman taking the report called the phone, and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car....
