HOW TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU ARE REALLY A REDNECK:
** You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
** You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
** The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
** You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
** You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
** You come back from the dump with more than you took.
** Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
** Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
** You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
** You've hit on somebody in a VD clinic.
** Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
** You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
** Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
** A tornado hits your neighborhood and does over $100,000 worth of
improvements.
** You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"
** You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
** Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take
them out to see what it is.
** You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
** You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
** The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
** You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
** You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
** You come back from the dump with more than you took.
** Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
** Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
** You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
** You've hit on somebody in a VD clinic.
** Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
** You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
** Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
** A tornado hits your neighborhood and does over $100,000 worth of
improvements.
** You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"
** You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
** Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take
them out to see what it is.
Related:
- YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF...
A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna
on the radio in your work area for better reception
All your sentences begin with "what if"
At Christmas,
it goes without saying that you will be the one to... - Things to do When Bored
-Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs
-Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings
-Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button
-Water your dog.
see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself... - You Might Be A Redneck If...
** The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your
spouse.
** You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the... - You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
%end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you... - YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...
You've ever cut your grass and found a car.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't... - 100 reasons why it's great to be a girl
1. free dinners
2.
free lunches 3. free brunches 4. free movies (you get... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate
eats meat.
Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie... - She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite...
