Some Lawyer Jokes... Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

Some Lawyer Jokes...
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in
the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of feces?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his rear.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetery
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q:What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck
defiance.