Because I'm A Man... ** Because I'm A Man, When I Lock My Keys In The Ca

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Because I'm a man...
** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a
wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service
until long after hypothermia has set in.
** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another
man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix
these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
know where to start." We will then drink beer.
** Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I
do, so for you this isn't a problem.
** Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
** Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
** Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't
think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete
stranger? I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going anyway?
** Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex or sports. I have to make up something else
when you ask, so don't bother to ask me
** Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you cried at the end of it, I didn't.
** Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it -- looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
fine. Can we just go now?
** Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2001, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, the shopping and the dishes, and
I'll do the rest.