You Know You've Been Online Too Long When...
** Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
** When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search
function to get to the point.
** Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."
** When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your
response.
** You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there's nothing
there.
** You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
** You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your
significant other.
** You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out."
** Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
** You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl" face-to-face.
** You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
** You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
** You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete
sentences.
** You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
** When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
** You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the night when your
spouse is asleep.
** You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you're
online again.
** You know more about online friends' daily routines than you do your own
spouse's.
** You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they
complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.
** You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to
your own.
** You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying
too much than the truth.
** You change your screen name so much that you have to do a who is to know
who you are.
** You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the
same time.
** You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
** Your dog leaves you.
** You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
** You type faster than you can think.
** You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls
up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
** You don't want to leave in case you miss something.
** You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to
check your mail and while there you "just wanted to see who was online."
** Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
** When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search
function to get to the point.
** Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."
** When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your
response.
** You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there's nothing
there.
** You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
** You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your
significant other.
** You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out."
** Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
** You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl" face-to-face.
** You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
** You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
** You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete
sentences.
** You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
** When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
** You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the night when your
spouse is asleep.
** You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you're
online again.
** You know more about online friends' daily routines than you do your own
spouse's.
** You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they
complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.
** You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to
your own.
** You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying
too much than the truth.
** You change your screen name so much that you have to do a who is to know
who you are.
** You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the
same time.
** You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
** Your dog leaves you.
** You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
** You type faster than you can think.
** You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls
up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
** You don't want to leave in case you miss something.
** You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to
check your mail and while there you "just wanted to see who was online."
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when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before
Windows 95 finishes booting
when you call tech support and they say your version of software
has been obsolete for 5 years
when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so
it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work
when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones
if your PC is big enough to use as an end table
if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization
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