Airborne Humor *** Any More Complaints? *** The Controller Working A Busy Pattern Told The 727 On Downwind To Make A 360 (do A Complete Circle, Usually Done To Provide Spacing Between Aircraft).

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Airborne Humor
*** Any More Complaints? ***
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360
(do a complete circle, usually done to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand
dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?" Without missing a beat the
controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth."
*** What the...?!***
PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower
and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem; go ahead
and let PSA go first." The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before
United had a chance to object to the impersonation.
*** Which Exit Did You Say That Was? ***
A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his
approach speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 Heavy,
turn right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off of
Highway 101 back to the airport."
*** Mmmm-mmm, Good! ***
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7."
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to the way, as we
lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
124.7...did you copy the report from Eastern?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff...and yes, we copied
Eastern and we've already notified our caterers."
*** No, That's not what I Said! ***
O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3
miles, eastbound." United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...
I've got that Fokker in sight."