Words of Wisdom:
** The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
** A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
** Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
** Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
** A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
** For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
** He who hesitates is probably right.
** Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
** No one is listening until you make a mistake.
** Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
** The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
** The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
** The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
** To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
** Two wrongs are only the beginning.
** You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
** Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
** The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
** A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
** If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
** Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
** Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
** If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
** Attempt to get a new car for your spouse: it'll be a great trade!
** Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
** Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
** Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
** Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
** Borrow money from pessimists: they don't expect it back.
** Half the people you know are below average.
** 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...