The IRS can always find more...
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around
that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a
lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.
Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but
nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a
polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the
bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a
lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to
the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man
clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000.00, and asked the little
man, "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or
what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
***One More***:
A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what
to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper."
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do
not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie." Confused,
the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested
some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the
rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her
wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to
your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice.
'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel. The
man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"
"No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around
that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a
lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.
Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but
nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a
polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the
bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a
lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to
the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man
clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000.00, and asked the little
man, "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or
what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
***One More***:
A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what
to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper."
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do
not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie." Confused,
the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested
some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the
rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her
wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to
your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice.
'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel. The
man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"
"No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
Related:
- The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest
man around that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice... - A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for
advice on what to wear.
"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are... - Going to the IRS
A Debtor, called in for an audit at the IRS,
asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw:
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can... - NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike.
Sure,
you thought you already knew that. But now we have... - Proof By Intimidation
----- -- ------------
A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front...
From the same category:
- The Lottery
A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble.
Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial... - Here's a listing of some rather interesting laws which were
passed in the U.S.
Taken from the Seattle P-I (Tuesday, Sep. 4 page ... - A Cowboy's Guide to Life:
** Don't squat with your spurs on.
** Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin'... - Quick Wit:
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive... - Strange
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to
inscribe on his tombstone,
"Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The...
