A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for
advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are
a pauper." Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite
advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and
tie." Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting
advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a
story," replied the rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother
what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown
that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she
got conflicting advice. 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right
down to your navel. The man protested: "What does all this have to do with
my problem with the IRS?" "No matter what you wear, you are going to get
screwed."