A Woman's Random Thoughts
Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like, "You know,
sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's
maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a
special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had
14 kids, but she doesn't give a damn.
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that
communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd
you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a
bell, my body said, "listen bitch... do it and die."
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and
then they marry him.)
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too
much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they
kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30
can fit into their stuff.
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
