Related:

• A husband and wife were lying in bed one night. (Since they have small children, the universal-parent coding system for sex is washing machine.
  ) The husband turned to his wife and said in a seductive voice "washing machine....
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.
  UUCP Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• Golfing and the Genie A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.
  On the third tee the husband said "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball....
• Dear Son, I am writing this slow, 'cause I know you can't read fast.
  There are a few things happening here at home. We don't live where we did when you left -- you're father read in the paper that most car accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved....
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man....
• One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.
  The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years.
  The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke....