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  He promptly called 911 to report the fire. In the calmest voice he could muster, he reported the fire was at his neighbor's house two miles down the road....
• Arkansas Q: Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery?
  A: Winner gets $3 a year for a million years. Q: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas?...
• A polack's house was furiously burning down, surrounded by fire trucks and helpless firemen, and all the polack could do is stand around and laugh, and laugh.
  So, his neighbor came over and said, "Jerzy, your house is being burned down to the foundations and you're Laughing?...
• Think Different Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery - 3 dollars a year for a million years.
  What does a Divorce in Alabama, a Tornado in Kansas and a Hurricane in Florida have in common?...
• Fire! Fire! Your computer's on FIRE!
• In case of fire, yell "FIRE!
• CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED SCHIZOPHRENIA
  Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER...
• One night, Luke Duke picked up Daisy at the bar. They were on their way to the local lover's lane when a traffic light changed from green to red.
  Luke gunned the engine and sped through the red light....
• What kind of truck do ballerinas drive? Toe trucks.