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  Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred....
• Press Release From Sony: Tokyo, Japan, March 31st - Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio.
  Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows and DOS systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been-until now-an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony....
• FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.
  ....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found....
• We will now upgrade your brain, please wait...searching.
  ..searching...still searching...sorry NO BRAIN found...
• My Loss is Your Gain!
• Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce.
  When it comes, I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away....
• Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
• Overheard on our bus: "Having a teacher in space isn't such a novel idea.
  In college, for instance, there was my philosophy professor....
• Executive Fantasy A rich business executive sees an ad in the Wall Street Journal for the world's fastest and most expensive car, the Tri-Turbo Convertible Fantasy.
  It costs over $1 million. The mogul decides that he must have it, and assigns half a dozen assistants to track the car down for him....