Related:

• Drunk A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar completely drunk.
  He walks up to the bartender and asks for a drink....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• Sir, I admit your general rule, That every poet is a fool.
  But you yourself may serve to show it, Every fool is not a poet....
• Actual Doctors' Notes On Patient's Charts: ** Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year ** On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
  ** She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night....
• In response to the points list for men. Relationships are two-way streets, you know.
  Simple Duties ============= Don't whine about the bed being made....
• Signs Your Team is Not Going To Win The NCAA Championship 10.
  Power forward was featured on Ricki Lake's "Too Fat to Love?...
• WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "I'm going fishing.
  Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety....
• Ma fren, you got to read dis joke in yor best Cajun accent, so you sound jus like Justin Wilson when he tell it.
  If you do, it'll be wundermus, I garontee. Der were dese two Cajun buddies at dis bar, and dey wuz gettin drunk, I mean!...
• Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.