Related:

• Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't.
• Dad's Words of Wisdom Don't ask me, ask your mother.
  Were you raised in a barn? Close the door. You didn't beat me....
• From davidbe@sco.UUCP Wed Feb 15 18:30:06 1989 Flag
  000000000000 From: davidbe@sco.UUCP Subject: A Song for the 80's (Offensive to Republicans) Keyword...
• GIVE YOURSELVES A HAND excerpted from "Kids Who Eat Paste" performed by The Brunching Shuttlecocks written by Lore "Cosmic Slug" Shoberg Scene
  A podium, with the Presidential Seal and a few microphones on it....
• You're Lost Between "Baby Boomer" and "Generation X" If.
  .. 1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat-handle comb in the back pocket was cool....
• Pizza Pranks 1. Press random numbers while giving order (touch-tone phone), and ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
  2. Tell the order taker that you have a rival pizza place on the other line, and you're going with the lowest bidder....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• BE A KID AGAIN.... Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
  Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into your hairbrush Grow a milk mustache Smile back at the man in the moon Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away Dunk your cookies Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing Step carefully over sidewalk cracks Change into some play clothes Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich Have a staring contest with your cat Eat ice cream for breakfast Kiss a frog just in case Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck" Blow the wrapper off a straw Refuse to eat crusts Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no" Watch TV in your pajamas Ask "Why?...
• 50 Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
  2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store....